As everyone knows, both sexes are guilty of infidelity in marriage. The blame for a broken relationship is not the fault of one gender or the other; however, there are several aspects of infidelity that are more attributable to women than men.
The reasons women cheat vary considerably. Some get involved in extramarital affairs because they are lonely, others because they want to escape the monotony of marriage. Still others are motivated to cheat as a form of revenge after they find lipstick or other tell-tale signs of their husbands' infidelity. Then there are the selfish, character-flawed women who marry good men, who love and take care of them, but continue to consort with other men for sexual excitement or for the money and other material goods these men can provide.
Women are not nearly as inclined to engage in infidelity purely for the sexual gratification. They tend to select a partner that they feel is an “upgrade” or somehow a better selection (i.e. the rock star or alpha male syndrome). They tend to engage in an affair with someone they want to be with and see over and over as opposed to simply finding someone that arouses them and giving them physical pleasure. The naturalistic view is that a cheating wife is simply following her instincts and looking to be with the “better” animal. She moves away from her husband to be with a man who is stronger, better off, smarter, etc. It is instinctual and natural. Although we do not buy into that idea whole heartedly, the truth is that a wife can want something more and may try and find it with someone else. This can range from finding someone she relates with better, all the way to being a gold digger and finding a guy who can give her more things than you. The “better man” theory, whether the other guy is better or not, holds true. If this is the case, the infidelity is likely to be a simple precursor to a new relationship and it is only an affair because she does not have the other guy locked in yet.
Another basic idea which everyone has heard of is that women often marry for security as opposed to love. The idea is that they need someone, so they get married, not necessarily to the man of their dreams. Along with this idea is its partner, the idea that women are always looking for the best mate they can find. They will “upgrade” if an opportunity presents itself. As private investigators specializing in this type of work, we see many examples of cheating wives who are not merely having an affair for the sex or the thrill of it, but are trying to start a new relationship. They are working on this “upgrade” while continuing to maintain their existing marriage.
A lack of sex or sex that is not satisfying is another major motivator the leads a wife to cheat. We have found that this is particularly true when the cheating wife tried to keep the sexual relationship with her spouse going strong but was met with disappointment. She stays in good shape, tries to be sexy and interesting for him and he is still bored with sex or worse yet, will not give her pleasure the way she wants it. There is no romance and no connection. A wife who has gone through this is far more likely to cheat when someone shows a true interest in her.
Paybacks are a bitch, and if you cheated on her, she may well pay you back by doing the same. We have seen many cases of a wife cheating on her husband as revenge for his infidelity or believed infidelity. Women have come out of the cave and they have sexual power. It is far easier for a woman to get a man to have sex with her then the opposite. Women know this and many will cheat to get back or to level the playing field.
Some sexual behavior research indicates that the cheating wife may see herself as a victim of the “Little Woman Syndrome”. This is essentially a case where a working wife is made to feel like the “little woman” in her marriage rather than a partner. She works just as hard as her husband, but at the end of the day, she still has to raise the kids, clean the house and be the quiet wife so her husband can go out with the guys or watch TV all night. Working women who contribute a lot in the workforce and want to be treated with the respect they deserve come home to a life that they do not want. They are surrounded with people who treat them with respect at the office and they want the same from a marriage that will not give it to them. This is a wife who may cheat because she wants to be with someone who will treat her like an equal.
Something that is not gender specific but is worth mentioning is that in almost all cases of a cheating wife is the overall idea that something is wrong in the marriage. At least one of them is unhappy and most likely both are. Someone’s needs are not being met and something does not work the way that either partner wants it to.
Investigating cheating and marital infidelity is one of the most important services a private investigator can render. Regardless of whether you need to know the truth simply to go forward with your life, or if you need proof of cheating and infidelity to win in court, A.S.G. is the Private Investigator agency for you. We leave nothing to chance!
If you think that spousal surveillance can help you, we recommend that you read a quick Overview of Spousal Surveillance.