Infidelity can have serious consequences

by Ashley Henry

Does anyone find the following scenario familiar?

It’s a great party, you are having a girl’s or boy’s night out and the good times are flowing. Then out of nowhere you see this hottie who is making his/her way towards you. He or she starts a conversation or starts dancing a little suggestively with you. By now your brain is telling you that this is not right.

You have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but you just cannot seem to help yourself. Before you know what happens you have made a mistake that you cannot possibly take back. Although the situation might not be this simple, it is possible.

Cheating is a common problem in relationships, especially when you are young, hot and ready to have a good time. Being faithful to your significant other can be hard when there are so many people out there who can tempt you. No matter how you slice it though, cheating is wrong and it only looks bad for you. And more importantly, it hurts the person who is supposed to be closest to you.

If you have cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend, there are a few things you need to evaluate about your relationship. If you actually cheated on him/her – whether it was just a kiss or more – then there is obviously something wrong in your relationship. You need to take a step back and examine why you cheated.

Did you cheat in a moment of anger to get back at your partner? If so, then there is a good chance you still love him/her; you just made a bad decision in the heat of the moment. If you cheated because you are unhappy or unsatisfied in your relationship though, then you have to ask yourself if you are in your relationship for the right reasons. If your current romantic partner is not making you happy then end the relationship with him/her.

Cheating will not solve the problems in your relationship – it will just create new ones – and it will not make you happy because you will be hiding it from people. It is best to just end your relationship before pursuing new ones.

If you do cheat, which is obviously not recommended, do not make excuses for why you did it.

If you choose to tell your partner – and you should – that you cheated, you need to explain the situation in a calm and humble manner. Do not accuse him/her of spurring you to cheat with their behavior act; like an adult and take responsibility for your actions. No one held a gun to your head and forced you to kiss the other person.

You chose to cheat and now you have to accept the consequences of your actions. Allow your boyfriend/girlfriend plenty of time to soak up what you have told him/her. He/she will definitely be mad, hurt and confused as to why you choose to hurt him/her that way. All you can do is explain yourself and, if they do not automatically end the relationship, beg for his/her forgiveness.

If your partner does choose to give you a second chance in your relationship, that is your chance to prove to him/her that you can be trusted despite past indiscretions. You have shattered that trust once and now you must earn it back. Be open with your boyfriend/girlfriend, with your feelings about the relationship and with what is going on in your life.

Talking about things that are bothering you can nip problems in the bud before they have a chance to get out of control. Give your partner time. Be patient with them when they question you and your intentions for a while. If you truly are sorry for what you have done and don’t stray again, your partner will come to realize that maybe you can be trusted.

The best advice I can give is don’t cheat, but if you do, be mature enough to own up to the penalties that come along with it. Cheating does not have to mean the end of a relationship.

Couples can survive and work through the mistrust in their own time. Just think long and hard the next time you are tempted and weigh the pros and cons before making a decision that will be with you the rest of your life.