New Scientific Test Reveals Cheaters

Reveals Cheaters

BY JENICE M. ARMSTRONG
Knight Ridder Newspapers

Have you ever suspected your man of cheating but not been able to prove it?

If so, there’s a new kit that’s just been introduced that claims to help suspicious spouses gather “scientific” evidence of whether their mate has been sexually active. It’s called the Tru-test Home Collection Kit and retails for $79.95.

It comes with an ultraviolet light that allows you to detect invisible bodily fluid samples on bedsheets or clothing. You can either conduct the analysis yourself or mail what you’ve gathered back to the company for analysis.

“This is science,” David Vitalli, founder and chief executive of Tru-test Home Evidence Collection Kit, told me earlier this week. “If it’s there, it’s there. If it’s not, it’s not.”

Whatever. If you’ve worried enough to buy one of these kits, don’t you already have your answer? If homeboy’s staying out late night after night and coming home with another woman’s perfume on him, what more proof do you need? Or else, maybe there’s just something shady about him that makes you uneasy. Either way, your relationship is in trouble.

Still, there’s always the chance that you just may be feeling insecure. Or maybe you’re the type who needs concrete proof before even consider confronting a mate about your suspicions. So, I consulted experts in the cheating-spouse field to get their take on whether it makes sense to fork over nearly $100 for the likes of a Home Evidence Collection Kit.

“I’ve heard of the semen-detection kits. I don’t think they are very reliable,” said Danine Manette, who appeared on “Oprah” last spring on a show about cheating males.

“There are so many variables,” said Manette, the author of “Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity” (Square One, $12.95). “Hairs follow people from place to place. `Oh, this can be explained .'”

And, of course, one explanation might be that your man is just masturbating at home.

Manette, who caught her own husband of 12 years in an affair with an old girlfriend, favors using easy-to-get recording devices that allow you to tape-record telephone conversations.

“I need stuff that is undisputable, that absolutely positively nails them,” she said. “I’ll get in the car and follow you to see where you’re going.”

John Mayoue, an Atlanta-based divorce attorney who serves as a commentator on high-profile celebrity cases, pointed out that people are better off relying on tried and true methods.

“I’m not discounting , but I think the old-fashioned way tends to be more effective and that is looking at e-mails, credit-card receipts and cell-phone records,” he said. “That tends to be how we catch people traditionally.”

Besides, “how often are you going to find semen on your spouse?”

And, finally, I spoke with Susan Shapiro Barash, a professor of gender studies at New York City’s Marymount Manhattan College, who pointed out that on the plus side, the kits could serve as a conversation starter.

“Even if you don’t use it and you just purchase it, it almost gives the suspicious spouse the comfort and the strength to address their spouses and really confront them,” said Barash, whose latest book is “A Passion for More: Wives Reveal the Affairs that Make or Break their Marriages” (Berkley Books, $12.95.)

“It’s not only to find out if your spouse is having an affair but to find out why and that’s really promising. Because if spouses were getting their needs met in the marriage, they wouldn’t go elsewhere.” Reveals cheaters