Should people enlist the help of a private investigator to find an old girlfriend?
The answer is a resounding, absolutely, and, no way.
That makes no sense, you say. Well, let me give you some points to ponder before you get upset with me.
I don’t know who you are. I am sure you are a fine person of strong moral character and certainly a pillar of integrity within your community, but none-the-less, you are a stranger to me. I have been specifically trained to question anything unfamiliar to me. Please don’t be offended when I am unmoved by proclamations to the effect of “I’m not crazy”.
You must understand that I have no idea of the circumstances behind the demise of your past relationship. I am always curious though, if she wanted to remain friends with you, why did she not provide you with her forwarding information? Never-the-less, I am not always so cynical. I know that friends lose touch. I know that people grow up and move away and friendships get lost in life’s shuffle. If this is true in your case, then nothing will bring me greater joy then to reunite you and your friend, but let’s consider the more sinister side of people and their motives.
At least once a day, I’ll get a call from a seemingly kind man who “just lost his wife” and would enjoy reconnecting with his “first love” just to see how she is and how her life is going. Well, my first instinct is to be moved by the romance of it all. How special she must be that she is thought of so highly after so many years……sigh….but I digress….
Suddenly, I am reminded of the harsh reality of “sometimes”. Sometimes seemingly kind man has a restraining order against him. Sometimes “first love” is unrequited and would tremble if she thought a private investigator revealed her whereabouts to her ex boyfriend.
As professional private investigators we have a duty to know the intentions of our prospective clients. We have a policy here from which we never deviate; we will NEVER release our subject’s personal information without her permission. We also make it our business to know exactly who our clients are so it should not come as a surprise when I ask you for the first 5 or last 4 digits of your social security number on our investigations agreement. I want to be sure that you are who you say you are.
Okay, with all that being said, let’s assume you’re on the up and up. Let’s say that you want to know whether your ex is married or single before you decide to contact her. No problem. I am perfectly willing to let you know what I believe her marital status to be (this is not free of charge). If it appears she is attached, you may decide to hold off on contacting her. We will file her information for future reference in case circumstances change for either of you.
If she is free, one of our female investigators will contact her to offer your contact information, or obtain her permission to release hers to you. We can also forward a handwritten letter from you, to her. This allows us to withhold her information while still allowing you to reach out to her.
I’m a huge romantic and a fan of first loves reuniting in the second half of their lives. I just want to be sure that both parties are as pleased as I am about the prospect of becoming reacquainted with each other. I hope you understand. I hope you take comfort in knowing that I will protect your information as diligently as I do hers.