Everyone’s On Their Best Behavior
How many happy romantic relationships do you currently know of that began from infidelity? If you’re like most people, that list isn’t very long. According to some statistics, up to 7% of relationships that begin as affairs result in a future marriage for the couple, and a whopping 75% of those that do make it to the aisle also end up in divorce court. Of course, there are always exceptions and your mom’s best friend’s hairdresser may be happily married to the love of her life who left his wife for her 20 years ago. But again, those aren’t commonplace. Here are five reasons why your husband’s affair probably won’t last.
When you first meet someone you’re attracted to and interested in, common sense can fly right out the window. All of a sudden, you want to be a beacon of light for that person. And in return, they see you as a slice of perfection. You can stop laughing now, especially if you’ve been married for a while. We all know that eventually ends. But when a partner is cheating, they’re not bringing their problems right into the new relationship; they’re actually sweeping them under the rug. Eventually, they’re going to build up and make quite a mess.
The Cheating Partners Don’t Really Know Each Other
Shared misery, frustrations in committed partners, and excitement for change can act as a trifecta to bond a cheating couple. But that change can act as the strongest glue. Your husband may be focused on the differences at first and feel excited about what the future may hold. But he hasn’t changed. Moreover, he may not truly be attracted to all the differences, they’re simply amplified at the moment. That can get old really fast once the pair realize they’ve taken on more than they can handle.
Lies and Deceit Surround the Relationship
According to a national study spanning three decades, 20% of married couples have admitted to cheating. And based on gender statistics, men lead the ranks for almost all age groups, topping off at the randiest bunch being senior citizens. While grandpa may be getting his groove back, cheating and lies go hand-in-hand, at least at first. Even if he comes clean to his mistress relatively quickly, the continued lies he builds at home and around their time together are bound to take a toll on their relationship.
The Honeymoon Eventually Ends
When you first feel an attraction and start to fall in love, those feelings of butterflies and warm fuzzies aren’t necessarily your soul instantly finding its mate. Those feelings are actually due to the production and release of oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone”. The naturally occurring brain chemical is highly responsible for human connection and relationship-building. Researchers have discovered that the first stages of a relationship involve higher levels of oxytocin. But those levels fade after about 18 months. If the affair was based initially on physical or sexual attraction, the relationship is likely to dry up after the oxytocin does.
Coping Styles and Destructive Behaviors Remain
All affairs contain some type or level of escapism. The cheater may have attempted to make things work in the relationship without success, or he may have ducked and run straight into another’s arms. Either way, they likely haven’t truly worked on their own destructive behaviors and coping mechanisms to stressful relationship situations. Chances are when the going gets tough with the new flame, they’ll just duck and run again… and maybe right back to you. Give us a call to connect with a cheating spouse private investigator and reclaim control of your life.