The Sunday Mail reports:
I’m safer than having affairs
August 06, 2006 12:00am
Article from: The Sunday Mail (Qld)
YOU would never believe I was a sex worker if you saw me in the street. I certainly do not fit the typical profile that most people associate with sex workers.
I have a very “girl next door” look, and am an attractive woman in my 30s, with not a tattoo in sight.
But despite this, sex is how I’ve been earning my living for the past five years.
I started working in a parlour when I was 31 to repay debts incurred from living overseas. The idea was to work until the debt was repaid, then go back to the normal workforce, in administration again.
I remember just knowing I could do it, even though I was by no means a promiscuous person. I had only had a handful of boyfriends in my life but somehow I knew I could separate emotions from sex.
The parlour was my “learning curve”, and then I moved on to working privately, which is completely different. Working from home entails being responsible for how you run your business – from advertising, to telephone manner and, of course, how you treat clients.
You have to be comfortable being alone because working privately is very isolating. Although I have never experienced any form of violence, the fact is a woman working alone in the sex industry is at risk. I try to minimise that risk by only working day-time hours and will only take a booking when I have the client’s phone number.
Although I have seen clients of all ages, the most typical profile is a married man in his 40s or 50s. These men view going to a sex worker as a better and safer option than having an affair. Most say that regular sex is not part of their marriage any more, yet they still have needs.
I have to say that women who have gone off the boil do seem to be a major problem in a lot of marriages.
Obviously, there are the usual reasons why some women do not regard sex as a priority, including demanding careers, children, financial stress and menopause.
But they need to realise that sex is still important to their men, and if they do not get their needs met at home, they will go elsewhere. It’s as simple as that.
I would also venture to say that the wives are not attracted to their husbands in a lot of cases, as most clients I see have definitely let themselves go.
I have pretty much seen it all in terms of ugly men and don’t blame the wives for not wanting to have sex with them. You have to have a strong stomach in this job, and I often say to people I should have been a nurse or a doctor because I’ve seen some revolting sights.
I turn the fat people away now and won’t have sex with anyone over 67 or 68 because I don’t think it’s appropriate and it is beyond my comfort zone.
I will only make an exception if I am having a particularly quiet week. Then I try to switch off and get on with it.
At the other end of the age scale, I am also visited by teenagers, and some look so young that I have to check that they are legal. They are inexperienced and think they can learn things from me. They are frightened by today’s girls, who know exactly what they want from men.
Although it is very rare that I enjoy the sexual side of my job, it has happened. Most clients I do not find attractive, but some are stunning and I cannot help but like them.
Many of the good-looking men say they come to me because they find women hard work and don’t want to be bothered with taking a girl out and talking to her, they just want easy and safe sex. In those instances, I allow myself to feel the sexual energy.
Some men will try to push the boundaries and ask for more intimate services, such as kissing. I know some workers do offer intimate services but for me kissing is such a truly intimate and almost sacred part of being with someone, so I couldn’t imagine doing it with clients.
If you give every part of your sexual being to clients, then you will have nothing left for your personal life.
As for my own relationships, I won’t ever have a partner while I’m doing this work because it is too difficult for me to deal with.
But when I first started, I was amazed by how many women are married with children or have boyfriends. There are men who are able to tolerate it. They may not always like it but they put up with it for the sake of having some extra money coming in.
There is a misconception in society that prostitutes are people who have no choice because they are desperate for money. Most of us have one thing in common: greed.
Everyone comes into the job wanting the investment property or the flash car and they think that they can achieve it. They think sex is a short-cut to achieving the things that other people get by working hard for years.
Very few sex workers actually achieve what they set out to. It is difficult to save money when each week is so variable. That is why I believe the smarter sex workers are the ones who only work part-time and still maintain regular work.
I do regret the length of time spent in this industry because the longer I am in it, the harder it is to move on. You gradually lose your previous work skills and you wonder what you can do and if you will be employable again.
I certainly do not feel like a victim, though, far from it. It was entirely my choice to become involved in this industry – it’s just that now I want to feel like a part of society again.