General information about infielity that does not directly relate to private investigations but may be of value to our readers.

Are Women Naturally Monogamous? Asks ‘Women’s Infidelity’ Author Michelle Langley

Press Release
Thursday June 16, 7:55 am ET

ST. LOUIS, June 16 /PRNewswire/ — With women initiating approximately 70- 75% of all divorces, “Women’s Infidelity” author Michelle Langley believes the answer is a resounding “no.” Langley contends women frequently pursue separations and divorces under the guise of “searching for self”; however, she states the real reason is often another man. Langley says it’s not uncommon for women to be happily married prior to having affairs. She also states that many men are being divorced by their wives without ever knowing about their wives’ extramarital relationships.

Langley believes as a society we need to stop perpetuating the myth that females are naturally monogamous because in today’s world, it is doing more harm than good. She asserts in the past, prior to DNA testing, the monogamous myth was helpful in easing paternity insecurity in males. However, today, this erroneous belief keeps women from taking responsibility when they do cheat. When women cheat they typically put the blame on their husband. Langley believes women’s lack of knowledge about their own natural sexual impulses makes them much more likely than men to leave their marriages due to their sexual attractions and affairs. Again, studies prove currently women are initiating approximately 70-75% of all divorces.

Researching women’s sexual behavior has been Michelle Langley’s focus for almost a decade. She began an independent inquiry into the subject after a series of unrelated incidents sparked her interest. Several years into her research she was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women she interviewed. She categorized these patterns into “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with the loss of sexual desire. Her book, “Women’s Infidelity: Living in Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say, ‘I’m Not Happy,'” delves head-on into this controversial subject matter and is available for purchase at

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Michelle Langley

Jim Warren thinks revenge is a dish best served cold to the unfaithful — byte by vicious byte. That’s why he created the Web site

“Wouldn’t you go on the Internet to find out if the guy that you’re dating has had a past history of cheating?” says Warren, a business consultant from Redford, MI.

The heartbroken, the cuckolded, the bitter can all anonymously post profiles of their cheating former lover — though revealing cheaters’ full names, addresses, telephone numbers and e-mail addresses is prohibited.

In addition to alleged cheaters’ profiles, the site includes a list of signs your beloved might be cheating and links to Web articles on relationships.

Wanting revenge is normal, but Warren stresses that people hoping to reconcile with their cheating lovers probably shouldn’t try to publicly embarrass them via a Web site.

“A lot of people have a lot of hurt and anger, and if they don’t get an opportunity to release that somehow, they go on with the rest of life being bitter and angry,” Warren says.

“To have an avenue to release that, I think that’s good.”

Hey guys are you having a midlife crisis

An affair, wild and impulsive buying and depression, could all be signs of a midlife crisis. Here’s are some ways of telling if you’re going through one.

You are having an affair. Many men feel a decreased sense of virility as they grow older, hence the need to ‘prove’ their masculinity. And what better way to prove it than with the new secretary of 20? Many men who have been faithful all their lives, suddenly develop a roving eye in their forties or fifties, to the unavoidable detriment of their family life. The kind of woman they go for, is also often not really their type, but she is virtually, without exception, young and pretty. These are the qualities many men feel validate their masculinity.

Sudden interest in and change of appearance. If your idea of keeping up with fashion has always been an annual, single shopping spree in a chain store, and you have suddenly become fashion-conscious and also started wearing clothes meant for men half your age, you could be having a midlife crisis. A sudden desire to dye your hair or change your hairstyle, or to spend lots of time in front of the mirror, could point in the same direction.

Resurrection of youthful behaviour. You suddenly show an interest in contemporary music, or go to places where people younger than you generally hang out. Or interests that you used to have, suddenly become interests again after many years. Or old friends that haven’t been seen for years suddenly make a reappearance. You also feel the need to come up to speed with the latest in communication technology, such as SMS’s and e-mails.

Sudden depression. Midlife is a time of reflection for many men. Goals you may have had in your teens and twenties, that may not have been reached, can be a cause for depression, because many men believe that what they have not achieved by age 50, is unlikely to be achieved afterwards. Some men can also become aware of their mortality and find this daunting. Many men have also reached a plateau in their careers and find themselves harking back to their glory days. They also have lots of family responsibilities during this time in their lives, and these can also feel overwhelming.

Lack of interest in spouse/family. You could suddenly lose sexual interest in your spouse or general interest in your family life. The lack of sexual interest could also signal the presence of another woman or insecurity with regards to sexual performance. Lack of interest in sex could also be a sign of depression.

Change in social patterns. If you have always been a homebody and suddenly start going out to all sorts of pubs and clubs or starts having boys’ nights out for the first time, it’s midlife-crisis time. A change in social patterns usually signifies something significant’s happening.

Sudden increase in alcohol consumption. If you suddenly start drinking heavily, you could be harking back to your youth, or the increased drinking could be a reflection of where you are hanging out and with whom. You could also be stressed out or depressed, which could lead to the increased alcohol consumption.

Sudden impulsive decisions. These are a hallmark of the midlife crisis. Sudden and life-changing decisions are made, such as resigning your job, emigrating, selling the house, asking for a divorce, etc.

No you should not contact the “other person”

We had another determined client who insisted on confronting the “other person” after our spousal surveillance revealed an affair on the part of her spouse. We were able to positively identify who the other woman is and reported this back to our client. Unfortunately, our client insisted on learning everything possible about this other woman despite our urging that she NOT do this and our unwillingness to give her the woman’s personal information. Instead, she did her own detective work and then began calling this woman at home and at work asking her over and over again “why” she did this. Although on some level we can appreciate that it would likely feel good, this is NOT acceptable behavior and if you really think about it, nothing good is going to come of it. In this case, nothing good came to our former client. Instead, she got served with a personal protection order and civil law suit for harassment. Word to the wise, take control of your life and know the truth, but avoid the conflict.

Can a marriage be fixed after infidelity

Although we are not counselors, we do hear a great deal about real cases of infidelity everyday, and based on those cases, we would have to say, yes they can be fixed. Obviously, the first step is to get the truth. Your spouse, for many reasons, will lie to you, often they try and lie even after proof is shown to them. Once you get proof, you need to decide if you want to keep the relationship alive and for the right reasons. At this point we would advise that you get some professional help either from your church or community services or from a marriage counselor to help you to determine how to move forward.

Can a marriage be fixed after infidelity


Keeping a Journal About Suspected Affair

If you are one of many that have a hunch of a suspected affair, one of the best ways to help you determine if your partner is engaged in an affair is to keep a DAILY journal of their activities. If he or she left an hour early for work, did errands they typically never do (like stopped at the grocery store), bought new clothes, put on sexy underwear. Things like car mileage being 30 miles more than just work and back, a 40-minute trip to the store at 9:40 at night… just to get milk, stayed up on the computer after you went to sleep, and the list goes on. Do this for a week or two and try to be as impartial and unemotional as possible. By keeping a journal about suspected affair activity, you will get some real information to reflect on. Once you see this, it can really help you piece together if something is going on or not.



Officials close down China’s first female detective agency

Sunday, Jan 09, 2005,Page 5

China’s first all-female detective agency has been closed following allegations it broke the law and overstepped the scope of its powers, an official at the center said yesterday.
The Women’s Rights Protection Investigation Center was accused of “violating regulators procedures,” an advisor at the center surnamed Zhou said.

“The local government said that the center was not in compliance with the law, so we are now in cooperation with the local government,” Zhou said.

People had also complained to the local government about the center’s efforts to catch cheating husbands, a local newspaper said. There have also been claims that it “intruded on marriage privacy” and charged excessive rates.

Based in the southwestern city of Chengdu, the center provided counselling to victims of domestic violence and failed marriages as well as helping women collect evidence against their philandering spouses.

It was open for less than a year and in November won approval to set up a similar outfit in Shanghai.

Zhou said that the center was only engaged in providing consultation and marriage counselling for its customers and was never involved in any investigations.

“There are just a few irregularities,” Zhou said.

If the complaints are proven to be true, “then the center will have broken laws by infringing on citizens’ privacy,” an official with the local government was quoted as saying by Tianfu Morning Post.

“For such an offense, a company could be fined as much as 100,000 yuan (US$12,000),” the unnamed official said.

Despite a very murky legal status private investigators have thrived in China, and more that 1,000 small private-eye outfits have sprouted around the country in the past three years, according to unofficial statistics.

Many of the 25 female detectives working at the center suffered personal pain in relationships and the agency soon proved its effectiveness at sleuthing, even putting one man behind bars.

“They believed they were doing something good for society and therefore neglected the registration procedures,” a staff member said.

China’s marriage law allows a party seeking divorce monetary compensation if there is enough evidence of infidelity or other wrong such as abuse, but such evidence is often difficult to collect.