New Yorkers Could go to Jail for Spying on Mate

By Ruth Houston

New Yorkers who suspect their mates of infidelity may be tempted to use some of the latest technology to find out if he or she is really cheating.

Suspicious mates now have an endless array of surveillance equipment that will allow them to spy on the suspected cheaters in an effort to find out the truth.

Do-it-yourself spy equipment is now widely available, reasonably priced, and includes many variations of the following:

• Listening or recording devices to eavesdrop on the cheater’s conversations.

• Hidden cameras in all sizes and shapes, often disguised as common household items, to secretly view what the cheater is doing.

• GPS tracking devices to monitor where the cheater goes, or the location of the cheater’s car.

• Keyloggers and other software or gadgets to install on the cheater’s computer to monitor their e-mails, Instant Messages, chats, or other online activities.

What many people don’t realize is that by using certain types of surveillance equipment to spy on a cheating mate, they could be breaking the law.

How You Could End Up In Jail

New Yorkers who use devices to listen in on a suspected cheater’s phone conversations or monitor their internet activities, could end up behind bars.

It’s not illegal to buy such equipment, but there are strict laws regarding the use of surveillance equipment or electronic devices to monitor or intercept someone else’s communications without their knowledge or consent.

The laws apply to both telephone and computer communications and include phone calls, text messages, e-mails, instant messages and chat room logs.

In New York, hacking into someone’s computer account or tapping their phone conversations is a class E felony punishable by up to 4 years in jail. Laws vary from state to state, but other states have similar laws.

Both online and offline stores that sell surveillance or so called “spy” equipment post disclaimers stating that the products they sell or are not to be used illegally. But it’s your responsibility as a customer or end user to determine what constitutes legal use of this equipment in the state where you reside.

You Can Also Be Held Liable for This

You can even be held accountable if someone else illegally uses the equipment on your behalf.

Most New Yorkers will recall what happened three years ago, when Jeanine Pirro ran for the office of New York State attorney general. Pirro became the subject of a federal investigation because she was caught on tape trying to get former New York Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik to bug the family boat to determine if her husband was having an affair. Both Pirro and Kerik came under the scrutiny of the law.

So if you hire a private investigator, or persuade a friend to illegally use the surveillance equipment on your behalf, you could be liable too.

In view of this, if you’re a New Yorker and you don’t want to risk going to jail, you need to find an alternate way to spy on your mate.

Fortunately, if you suspect infidelity, there are ways to spy on the suspected cheater without running afoul of the law. Knowing what to look for is the key.

How to Spy Without Breaking the Law

A good infidelity reference book can help you find out the truth. There are a number of good infidelity books on the market, but Is He Cheating on You? — 829 Telltale Signs is the only infidelity reference book which documents practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. The signs are conveniently grouped into 21 major categories so you can easily find the signs that apply to your marriage, your relationship or your mate. Despite the title of this book, most of the signs in it apply to both cheating women and cheating men. The e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? — 829 Telltale Signs sold through, has a special 10-page section for men with cheating wives or girlfriends entitled Is SHE Cheating?


Although this article was originally posted by Ruth Houston, we know the laws and are willing to help. If you are looking to hire a private investigator in regard to your cheating spouse, contact us today!

Online Service Makes Cheating Easier Than Ever

By Audrey Dutton

“Don’t let his flashy smile get to you!” an anonymous woman writes on about her ex-lover Kevin. He’s married, she cautions, telling any woman who meets him to “run, run as fast as you can, and don’t look back.”

But wait. It seems another spurned lover has the same warning. “He had told me that he was separated from his wife, but I found out differently,” she writes. “Sometimes when his wife called, he would tell her that he had to work late, so that we could go out or just have sex somewhere.”

Heard enough? Well, a third woman delivers the same account, with palpable grief. She writes that the word “hurt” doesn’t come close to expressing her feelings.

Then the alleged adulterer responds. “There is an article about me on your Web site that is very untrue,” Kevin’s rebuttal says, adding his (now defunct) e-mail address. “The woman that wrote this is my very psychotic neighbor who is married and tried 3 years ago to get me into a threesome with her and her husband.”

That woman’s husband offers his side of the story, too.

It looks like the he-saids and she-saids won’t end soon.

The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy estimates that 35 to 45 percent of all American marriages bear the burden of emotional or sexual infidelity. As the online dating market grows, so do the opportunities for cheating on a partner. Enter two services, one for those doing the cheating and another for those who have been cheated on: Alibi Network and While one company goes to great lengths to conceal affairs, the other exposes cheaters to the world.

The Alibi Network is a small Chicago-based company whose sole purpose is to construct alibis. Consultants devise cover-ups for any legal activity, from calling in sick to work–a popular service on the Monday after the Super Bowl–to “virtual employment” for those who are embarrassed to be jobless.

However, covering up infidelities makes up the bulk of the service. Fifty percent of clients want to hide an affair, with men and women equally likely to seek alibis. The Alibi Network has no moral qualms about its service. “We don’t judge,” said Mike DeMarco, spokesman for the company. “If we get emotionally involved, we’re doing our client a disservice.”

“That’s deplorable!” gasped Tasha Jacobs, a public relations specialist from Miami. “Unbelievable.”

While the Alibi Network deals in lies, Jacobs’ company tries to expose the liars. Her Web site,, is intended “to get guys to change their behavior,” she said, “or at least think twice before they cheat because they know there are consequences.” is a database with a heavy salting of scandalous drama. Angry and brokenhearted lovers can post allegations of betrayal, stamping their exes with a virtual scarlet letter. The exes can try to clear their name with a rebuttal, but the mark is already made. The site gives full names, photographs and identifying information like age and location.

As a result, Jacobs’ site draws ample controversy. Earlier this year, one woman asked Jacobs to remove her accusations about a cheating ex-boyfriend after a judge ordered her to stop publicly airing complaints. And the Web site’s blog, which highlights “cheaters of the day,” is peppered with questions from readers, blaming the women for choosing bad boys and wondering about the proof behind anonymous accusations.

Jacobs says she vets all submissions, often calling or e-mailing women to ask for solid evidence, like telephone records. And before a woman can submit her story, she must agree to the terms of user policy, stating that she is telling the truth.

Amid the controversy, the site is growing, with more than 1,100 alleged cheater profiles. Jacobs hopes the database will help women judge whether a potential suitor is bad news.

In mid-March, Jacobs will launch the sister–or brother–site, “It was only fair,” she said. Plus, “all of my guy friends convinced me to do it.” is not the only Web site of its kind., and also list alleged cheaters by the thousands.

This is where the Alibi Network finds its market: When wandering-eyed mates fear that their rendezvous might be exposed, they turn to the network. After less than a year, the Alibi Network is already turning a profit, and DeMarco says no clients have reported getting caught.

Their alibis are high tech and elaborate, but affordable. A cover-up phone call to an unsuspecting spouse costs $25 to $50. Shopping discreetly for a ski trip with the mistress? That costs $35. And an e-mail alibi starts at $10.

Ongoing alibis, however, are the most detailed. If a client wants to sneak off for a weekend rendezvous with a lover, the Alibi Network can send him a faux job offer letter, under the guise of its partner company, along with an invitation to a weekend training session. To corroborate the lie, consultants create a Web site for a fake hotel, where the duped significant other can call a fake hotel desk. The fake clerk? That’s an Alibi Network operator. The company even patches telephone calls home, to look like they come from Chicago, Manhattan, Los Angeles–anywhere in the United States.

The monetary price for creating this illusion “depends on individual circumstances,” the company said.

But the personal price of cheating, says one relationship ethicist, is far deeper.

“A lot of people lead double lives,” said Elaine Englehardt, a Utah Valley State College philosophy professor and relationship ethics expert. “I do think they have a fractured sense of the world, a fractured personality.” She said that self-deception plays a large role in affairs, on the part of both partners. It is common for cheated-on spouses to ignore their suspicions. And when the affair is hidden so well that one partner finds out years later, she said, it’s even worse: “The other spouse feels like such a fool.”

Englehardt does not necessarily agree with outing a cheating partner on, either. “I wouldn’t use the service, but I think there are those who will use it and those who will abuse it,” she said, adding that single women often consult the grapevine when trying to figure out a date’s track record. The database, she said, isn’t much different from that.

Does she think the database is ethical? “You’re responsible for making your own judgments about what’s going on around you,” she said, so take the stories with a grain of salt. But, she added, it’s important to learn as much as possible about a prospective partner.

As for using the Alibi Network, Englehardt isn’t so approving. “The better thing is for a person to look at [the affair] and say, ‘Is this the type of person I really want to be?’” Instead of covering up an affair, she wrote in an e-mail, “just confess, save the relationship and try to move on.”

When asked if he thinks his company’s services are unconscionable, DeMarco said, “It’s almost like if we’re brick makers.” The distinction, he said, is whether that brick is used to smash a windshield or build a house. “We’re a service. We’re here for people to use how they please.”

Englehardt offered a different analogy: “Like a brick to a crumbling house is how I’d put it,” she said.

Four Wisconsin women use Krazy Glue to get even with Cheating Spouse

get even with cheating spouse

Four Wisconsin women use Krazy Glue to get even with Cheating Spouse

A married man who planned to rendezvous with one of his handful of lovers at a Wisconsin motel instead found himself bound, blindfolded and assaulted by a group of women out for revenge, according to court documents.

Four women, including his wife, eventually showed up to humiliate the man, who ended up with his penis glued to his stomach to punish him for a lover’s quadrangle gone bad, according to the documents filed in Calumet County.

Now it’s the women who face punishment, perhaps six years in prison, and at least one said Monday she’s embarrassed now.

AP coverage


We highly recommend not using Krazy Glue on your cheating husband.

Tennessee Senator has Affair with Intern and Resigns

The Tennessee state senator said he was opposed to sex outside marriage, but his private life told a different story: He was having an affair with his 22-year-old intern.When an extortion plot exposed married Republican Sen. Paul Stanley’s illicit relationship, he said he would be “clearing up” misimpressions later. He’s now clearing out his office, the latest politician caught in a sex scandal, this one made worse by not coming clean.

Affair with intern


Can There be a Happy Marriage After an Affair?

We all know what happens when couples split after an affair, but what happens to those couples who decide to stay together after an affair? Most pairs who have worked through and resolved their betrayal trauma can enjoy a lifelong happy marriage. For some, overcoming this crisis bonds them for life in a healthier marriage.

Do not assume that an affair automatically implies an end to your marriage.

Understand that physical, emotional or online connection is a betrayal of your spouse.

Treat infidelity as a major relationship trauma to be overcome through openness, talks and treatment toward a recommitment to each other.

Recall the nature of your marriage prior to your infidelity. If you have been previously satisfied and feel repentance, you can, with therapy, rebuild your marriage. Ecstasy is short-lived, commitment is rewarding for life.

Understand that your partner’s infidelity is his/her personal weakness — not a reflection on you. Seek the depth of your forgiveness.

Use professional help to facilitate your reunification work.

Read more


If you suspect that your spouse is having an affair, give us a call today to see how we can help!

After an Affair

Fun places to cheat in Liverpool

Although infidelity is not a laughing matter, we found an article on Liverpool Confidential that had a new twist on talking about different places to cheat.

Some fun quotes include:

 METRO. 5-9 VICTORIA STREET. L2 5QA. Tel: 0151 236 2200
Ten reasons to have your affair here:
1. It’s got a French theme. The French invented affairs.
2. Booths. Lovely red booths.
3. Wine. You’ll be needing that.
4. Jazz – making sordid little encounters seem sophisticated and meaningful since 1921.
5. It’s downstairs, away from prying eyes.

 If you’re having your affair on a Monday (and I’d recommend it – your partner will never suspect you’re having an affair on a Monday – it’s a very Thursday thing to do) then there’s acoustic guitar karaoke which should cover any embarrassing silences and give a Guinness-fuelled him/her the opportunity to authenticate your romance with a passionate, trashed rendition of ‘Me And Mrs Jones’.


 Look, you won’t be eating for a start: this is an affair, not the semi-finals of Masterchef, and if it’s a bit pricey – GOOD. It should be pricey, you’re doing something extraordinary – you’re going against society’s will and putting your relationship in jeopardy.

Read it all here and props to Stanley McHale

Infidelity in the Workplace

Infidelity in the WorkplaceAll too often clients call and ask about our ability to capture evidence of infidelity in the workplace. The unfortunate reality about affairs in the office is that even if people suspect that it is going on, the cheaters are likely to be very cautious so as not to get caught. Obviously if people are ducking into an empty room for a tryst, no private investigator is going to be able to document that activity. Despite the obvious barriers to success in capturing infidelity in the workplace, there can be an opportunity. In some instances people will go into work early to hook up or stay late and wait until everyone else has left. After these evening hook ups, the cheaters will often leave together and do things like kiss in the parking lot, go to a motel if others are working late or drive somewhere to fornicate in the car. A good investigator can take advantage of these opportunities and get you proof.

A Warning About Vehicle Trackers

A large number of companies are selling vehicle trackers over the internet for use to monitor your spouse or partner. Unfortunately, there are a growing number of state laws that prohibit using these devices in many different situations, including in some states, married people using them to monitor their spouse when investigating infidelity. Even if your spouse found the device and would not press charges against you, if it is found in the wrong situation, once the police are notified, they may charge you anyway.

We recommend giving us a call or getting a legal opinion before using any vehicle tracker.


Vehicle trackers may lead you here...and then to court.

You Know They’re Cheating, But Have No Idea When

What should you do if you are aware that they’re cheating, but have no idea when?

First of all, don’t get angry with your investigator.

Any good investigator will have many questions for you, one of the most important being, where and when will the surveillance begin?

We don’t ask this question to frustrate you. We realize that in most cases, “if you knew that” you wouldn’t need us. Well, here’s the thing, we don’t know your husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend at all. I don’t know that your significant other works late on Tuesdays and Thursdays, has dinner with his folks every Sunday at 5 and has his kids every Wednesday and every other weekend, for example.

With that being said, there are a couple of things you can consider when choosing your most effective “start time”.

Rule out the periods of time when you are absolutely certain that it CANNOT be happening, i.e., those times listed above. Once you put pen to paper, you may see a clear pattern of behavior emerge, for example; Aha! Monday evenings, he is supposed to get off of work at 5, but he never gets home until 8. There you have it, your rock solid start time.

But he’s in sales, you say. He is his company’s most valued employee as he is tireless in his dedication to his work and clients. He is ALWAYS working, you say.

Well, have no fear. Here is when some good, ol’ fashioned creativity comes in handy. If cheater offers no clear opportunity, then we will create one for him.

Do you ever travel? Enjoy weekend visits with your folks or old friends? Not usually?

Well, do it now. Hire yourself a professional investigator to monitor the where-abouts of your sweetie. Give him plenty of notice. If cheater is seeing someone else who is supposedly in a committed relationship, this will give them an opportunity to get their stories straight and free them self of their significant other during the same time.

Still nothing? You say, “but we haven’t spent one night apart in 25 years……”

Then you leave your investigator very few options. You must increase your budget.

We hate to ask. We like to work cost efficiently. But in cases such as the above, we just have to ask you to pick a time and go for it. Perhaps you can start with 30-40 hours. Let the investigator get out in the field to get a feel for his subject. He may find that after 5 hours spent tailing the subject, he has an idea of what’s going on and can offer helpful suggestions as far as when the subsequent surveillance sessions should realistically begin.

We do hope that these tips help. We want to help you, but remember, you’ve loved this person for how long now and you don’t know what’s going on.

We certainly have no idea……

More Drama in the Case of the Texas Wife Who Ran Over Her Cheating Husband

The AP reported that the famous saga of a woman who killed her cheating husband by mowing him down with her luxury car returns to court Tuesday in a civil case Clara Harris filed against her former defense attorney. Jury selection is set to begin more than three years after Harris filed a lawsuit claiming Houston attorney George Parnham overcharged to defend her in the 2003 murder trial that garnered international attention.

Harris, 50, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for running over her philandering spouse in a hotel parking lot in 2002 after confronting him with his mistress. The lawsuit claims Harris hired Parnham for $75,000 but wound up paying more than $235,000.

Cheating husband pays when wife runs over him with her luxury car.